Scenario 2: Occasion: The Test Match Series in Australia: The Fourth & the Final Test in Adelaide
(The Indian team has already lost the test series by losing all the three test matches in Melbourne, Sydney and Perth. Sachin has failed to score his 200th century. The other senior players Laxman and Sehwag have hardly crossed the two-digit scores in the three matches. What is more worrying is that Virat Kohli who had claimed the role of Rahul Dravid in the team has also failed miserably. He was out clean bowled in most of his innings. There are strong rumours that there are differences between the Skipper Goni (not Dhoni) and Sehwag. There are also rumours that Laxman may be dropped for the final match and Kohli may announce his retirement after the final test. However, discussion on Sachin continues to be a taboo! The commentary team is the same as for the first test match)
Gavaskar: So here we are. I understand India will play the same team by retaining all the seniors. The team management could not even decide on dropping Laxman - forget about dropping Sehwag, Kohli or Sachin!
Sastri: The Indian team has won the toss and decided to bat. The opening pair is already here. The game begins.
Rahul Sharma: The way things are going, I think I took the best decision to opt for joining the commentary team. See what is happening to Virat after achieving glory all these days. He is getting out clean bowled almost in every innings!
Clarke: The Indians used to say he has succeeded Rahul Dravid, the Wall! It seems he is following him literally!
Sastri: Perhaps you are right. I remember Rahul telling that he need not bother about getting bowled anymore at the time of announcing his retirement in 2012.
Gavaskar: Oh! India has already lost the first wicket! That brings Sachin into the game. Will he score the 200th ton? Or won’t he? The question comes up again!
Sastri: Quire interestingly the situation is similar to what happened in the 2011-12 test series!
Brett Lee: It seems you people are more tensed up than Sachin! I feel we should stick to our routine comments!
Sastri: Sure. Sachin faces the first ball now. He knows the importance of the game!
Rahul: Sir! This is one routine comment you have been making since ages! I am the junior most among the commentators here. If you don’t mind, I want to ask you something!
Sastri: Please go ahead.
Rahul: For that matter every player in the team is expected to know the importance of the game he is playing. And as far as Sachin is concerned he has been playing the game since ages! Is it not, sir?
Gavaskar: I agree. It is a cliché to say that one knows the importance of the game! I am sure I am not using any such clichés!
Clarke: In my opinion there is actually no importance to this game as India has already lost the series! As far as Sachin is concerned there can be only one importance and we all know that!
Bret Lee: Coming back to clichés, I should tell you that the Ian Chapel’s School of Cricket Commentary conducts a special session on how to avoid using clichés during the commentary!
Sastri: I am hearing it for the first time. Tell me more about it. I am interested.
Clarke: I can understand. For your information all the three of us (Bret Lee, Watson and I) were trained in the Ian’s School.
Watson: Guess who has contributed maximum clichés to the repository in the Ian’s school!
Bret Lee: And no prizes for guessing it right! It is none other than Ravi Sastri! Hats off to you sir!
Gavaskar: There are no two opinions on the quality of commentary of the legendary Ian. It is good that he has started a school for the upcoming commentators. He is perhaps second only to the legendary Richie Benaud the greatest commentator of all times.
Bret Lee: It is pleasant to hear some nice words from Gavaskar at least about two Australians! I am sure you will not dispute the fact that you are a known Australian baiter, sir!
Clarke: In fact Ian holds one special session on how to handle instigation by known baiters of Australians during the commentary!
Watson: And guess who is the topmost baiter of Australians as per Ian?
Bret Lee: Again no prices for guessing it right! It is Gavaskar and nobody else!
Gavaskar: I can understand. Ian appears to be right! But I am sure at least I have not contributed anything to the list of clichés held by Ian!
Clarke: We shall come back to it at the appropriate time. You may wait, sir!
Sastri: Oh! Sehwag has given a simple catch again. That brings Laxman into the game.
Gavaskar: The way the things have gone so far in the series I am sure Little Master will have butterflies in his stomach as his partners depart one by one!
Bret Lee: Sir! Please do not mistake. I have been hearing this butterfly stuff from you many times. Is it not a cliché again?
Watson: Sir! You are calling Sachin Little Master even now. Is it not the right time to call him the Grandmaster?
Clarke: I understand he has already become a Grandfather with the arrival of Abhimanyu!
Gavaskar: Oh! The entire Australian bunch is after me! (I have a hunch that the bunch is trying to push me towards retirement! Forget about Sachin’s retirement!)
Sastri: Oh my God! Virat is clean bowled again! Now the skipper Goni is joining Sachin and he is under pressure again!
Rohit: Oh my God! Sachin has given a simple catch! The hunt for the 200th ton continues!
(Sachin departs. The game continues. India loses the match again. Australia wins the series 4:0. Sachin’s search for the 200th ton continues)
------- (To be continued)
A V Krishnamurthy
19th April 2012