Tuesday, August 4, 2015

I Don’t Know, Son! -85

The God Opens His Demat Account!
Son: The world’s richest God Tirupati Thimmappa (Balaji) has opened a demat account, dad!
Father: Oh! My God! Go on, son.
Son: The purpose is to enable the devotees to donate shares and securities who are now dropping the share certificates in hundies, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The God was said to be facing lots of difficulties in getting such shares transferred in his name, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: It is not yet clear whether the God will sell these shares through the stock exchanges, dad.
Father: Go on, Son.
Son: However, certain brokerage houses are already reported to be offering prayers to secure the prestigious God’s share business, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
The Income Tax Paying University!
Son: Many of the industries established by the legendary statesman Sir M Visvesyaraya (Sir MV) in Karnataka are suffering losses because of mismanagement, dad.
Father: True. Go on, son.
Son: However, Sir MV may be smiling in the heavens to find an education institution (University) in his name in his own state making huge income tax payments, dad!
Father: Wonderful. Go on, son.
Son: The Income  Tax Department is said to have assessed and recovered tax arrears of Rs220 crore from the cash-rich Visvesyaraya Technological University (VTU) for the last six years, dad.
Father: Interesting. Go on, son.
Son: The university is reported to be sitting on a cash pile (reserves and surpluses) of over Rs466.30 crore, dad!
Father: Wonderful. Go on, son.
Son: A report in Asian Age had said that the Vice-Chancellor of VTU had spent Rs4 crore to renovate his bungalow, dad!
Father: Understandable! Go on, son.
Son: The expenses included money spent on golden German bathroom fittings for a number of bathrooms in the bungalow, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
Not Patented!
Son: The Japanese business conglomerate Toshiba has withdrawn its earning guidance and scrapped its year-end dividend payment, following the detection of improper accounting in some of its infrastructure projects, dad.
Father: True. Go on, son.
Son: An independent investigation had found that construction costs for certain projects were under-estimated and losses in construction work were not recorded, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The company is reported to have inflated its profits by over $1.2 billion over a period of several years, dad!
Father: Oh! My God! Go on, son.
Son: The Indian analysts say that the modus operandi appears to have been copied from a formerly well-known Indian software company based in Hyderabad, dad!
Father: Which company? Go on, son.
Son: Some of them reportedly approached the former CEO of the company, (who is facing seven years’ punishment), for his comments, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: He is said to have agreed that the methodology seems to be a perfect copy and he regretted his failure to patent his product (modus operandi) internationally, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
A Hospital Director or a Terminator!
Son: The Prestigious National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences (NIMHANS) in Bengaluru is in the news for all the wrong reasons, dad.
Father: Like what? Go on, son.
Son: Dr. N Pradhan,  Director-in-Charge of NIMHANS, whose tenure was to end on 31 July, has terminated the services of the Registrar on 28 July, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Last week he had terminated the services of his predecessor Dr. Satish Chandra stating that he cannot continue as faculty member, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: He had also terminated the services of many other faculty members earlier, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Hopefully the termination spree seems to have ended with his tenure coming to an end on 31 July 2015, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!