Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I Don’t Know, Son!-15

I Don’t Know, Son!-15
The Hereditary Game!
Son: The BCCI selection committee headed by the former Indian opener Krisnamachari Srikkanth has picked his son Anirudh as part of India’s Emerging Players squad which will play a series of three-day games in Australia next month, dad.
Father: True, go on son.
Son: Anirudh had a below average season last year. He had scored only 251 runs from 9 innings that didn’t see him even in the Top 50 Ranji Trophy run getters, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Most of the other players in the squad had piled up huge scores in the 2010-2011 Ranji Trophy, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The hereditary succession disease seems to have spread to even the cricket field. The gentleman called Srikkanth appears to be no exception to the rule, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
Party of Sons, Daughters and Relatives!
Son: “The BJP is fast becoming a party of sons, daughters and relatives.” Do you know who issued this statement, dad?
Father: Must be some Congress leader, obviously, son.
Son: You are wrong, dad. The statement has been issued by the BJP vice-president Shanta Kumar, who was earlier in charge of Karnataka, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
 ‘Buy’  or ‘Sell’ - the ICICI Puzzle!
Son: ICICI Securities is finding itself in an unenviable position, dad. It has been appointed as one of the four merchant bankers for BHEL’s Rs5,000-crore follow-on-issue, dad.
Father: It is a prestigious appointment, is it not, son?
Son: True, dad. But the brokerage house had recommended a ‘sell’ on the  BHEL scrip at a target price of Rs1,800 at almost 10% discount to the current market price, dad!
Father: Oh! Now I understand. Go on, son.
Son: The investors know the penchant of the Government to keep the issue price as close to the market price as possible, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: This being the case, ICICI Securities may find itself marketing the issue at a price at which it recommended the ‘sell’, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
Another Case of Dementia?
Son: Suresh Kalmadi, the disgraced and jailed former Chairman of the Commonwealth Games (CWG), is reported to be suffering from dementia, dad. An expert opinion has been called for from the AIIMS, dad.
Father: Quite unfortunate. Go on, son.
Son:  The court is awaiting the report about the apparent memory loss of the main accused in the CWG case, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: In the meanwhile, the Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and the Home Minister Chidambaram have strong reasons to doubt that another prime accused in the 2G case might have also suffered the memory loss, dad!
Father: Who? Go on, Son.
Son: I am talking about Raja, the ex-minister for communications, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Raja says as far as his memory goes, all the decisions on 2G allotments were approved by the PM and the then FM Chidambaram, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Both the PM and Chidambaram are now said to be exploring the possibility of having a brain scan of Raja, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: They feel the long stay at the Tihar jail by the prime accused might have led to this memory loss, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
The Shavige Bath Saga!
Son: Do you remember the burglary in a residence in Bangalore in which the burglars ran away with jewels valued at Rs7.6 lakh, dad? The burglars had the audacity to even feast on the Shavige Bath, the housewife had stored in the fridge, dad.
Father: Yes. Go on, son.
Son: Well, the Bangalore police have succeeded in catching the burglars, dad. They say they are confident of tracing the entire jewellary set, dad.
Father: Very nice. Go on, son.
Son: But the police say they could do nothing about the Shavige Bath and expressed their regrets to the housewife, dad!
Father: Interesting. Go on, son.
Son: Now the housewife has assured the police that she would arrange a ‘Shavige Bath Party’ to the police team if it could trace out her entire jewellary set, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
A V Krishnamurthy
26th July 2011


Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I Don’t Know, Son!-14

I Don’t Know, Son!-14
The Chamundi Avatar!
Son: The Karnataka ex-legislator Ramaswamy is in real trouble, dad.
Father: Go on son.
Son: He had made an allegation against the former Governor of Karnataka V S Ramadevi that she had encroached upon 4 acres of government land by submitting false documents, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Actually the land was in the name of some other Ramadevi, wife of one K S Rama Rao, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: It appears Ramaswamy jumped on the gun just because the name of the former Governor’s husband was Ram Avatar, dad!
Father: Interesting! Go on, son.
Son: Naturally the former Governor is totally upset and has threatened that she would file a defamation case against Ramaswamy unless he tendered an unconditional apology within 48 hours, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Ramaswamy is now facing the 'Chamundeshwari Avatar' of the ex-Governor for misreading her husband’s name 'Ram Avatar', dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
Governor Bharadwaj Smells a Rat!
Son: The above incident has made the current Governor of Karnataka Hans Raj Bharadwaj a worried man, dad.
Father: How come? Go on, son.
Son: He has ordered the revenue officials to find out whether any land has been registered in the name of ‘Bharadwaj’ in and around the Bangalore city, dad.
Father: What for? Go on, son.
Son: He is afraid that Yeddy might have allotted and registered some property in his name only to tarnish his name later, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
Bhajji v/s Mallya!
Son: Ace Spinner Harbhajan Singh has issued a legal notice to UB Group headed by Vijay Mallya for launching a TV advertisement making fun of him, dad. The notice has asked the company to offer a public apology and to remove TV add within three days, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: What has surprised the media and the public is that Harbhajan has sought a ‘paltry’ compensation of Re1 lakh, dad!
Father: True. Go on, son.
Son: When the media sought clarification of Bhajji, he is reported to have told them that he did it on ‘humanitarian grounds’, dad!
Father: Interesting. Go on, son.
Son: Bhajji told them that he knew the precarious financial position of Mallya and he did not wish to burden him at this difficult stage, dad!
Father: Interesting. Go on, son.
Son: Bhajji was referring to the precarious financial position of Mallya’s flagship company Kingfisher Airlines, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: He had heard that certain flights of the airline had been held up in Delhi Airport for want of fuel supply, dad. The oil company (HPCL) had held up the supply as its dues had piled up to over Rs650 crore, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
Difficult to Reach Diggy’s Level!
Son: Jaivardhan, the son of Digvijaya Singh (Diggy), the former Chief Minister of Madhya Pradesh and the other name for controversy, is planning to enter politics, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son:  He may contest the state elections in 2013 after completing his masters from Columbia University, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: When asked whether he would follow the footsteps of his father, the young man stated in all his humility that it is difficult for him to reach the ‘level’ of his beloved father, dad.
Father: Quite nice of him. Go on, Son.
Son: As if by coincidence, at the same time the national TV channels were broadcasting the news that Diggy had slapped a few BJP activists in Ujjain after chasing them, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: One can very well appreciate that the sophisticated Doon School educated young man may indeed find it difficult to reach ‘this particular level’ of his beloved father, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
A V Krishnamurthy
20th July 2011

 

Monday, July 11, 2011

I Don’t Know, Son!-13

I Don’t Know, Son!-13
The Silly Mistake!
Son: According to a ToI news report, a section Officer of the Rajasthan Legislative Assembly created a sort of records, dad.
Father: How? Go on, son.
Son: He printed counterfeit currency notes for Rs8.91 lakh to pay his dues to a creditor in a cheque bounce case, dad! The creditor had filed a criminal case against him under the negotiable instruments act, dad.
Father: Interesting! Go on, son.
Son: The creditor withdrew the case after collecting the currency notes, dad. But the officer had committed a ‘silly mistake’, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The creditor found out on the way that the entire bundle of Rs1,000 notes carried the same serial numbers, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The creditor has now filed a cheating case against the Officer, dad. He has stated that the Officer has cheated him by paying him through currency notes with the same serial numbers, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: But the Officer has defended himself by telling the court that he should not be punished for a ‘silly mistake’ on his part, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
The 2G Allotment!
Son: Yeddyurappa (Yeddy) the Chief Minister of Karnataka has admitted that he has made some 2G allotments in Mysore, dad.
Father: How come? The same falls under the purview of the Central Government, son.
Son: I am talking about the allotment of sites in Mysore to the second (2nd) generation family members of Yeddy, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: HDK had furnished a list of ten people who according to him were close relatives of Yeddy and had been allotted residential sites in Mysore, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Yeddy has justified the allotments stating that he had no other alternative than allotting the sites to the second generation of his two brothers and a brother-in-law as the first generation had unfortunately passed away, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
Good News for Kannada Cinema and TV!
Son: The Kannada Cinema and TV are seeing some good days at last, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: A news report says that the Income Tax Department conducted raids at the residences of Kannada film producers and artists including Sihi-Kahi Chandru (an artist and a TV serial producer as well) and music director Guru Kiran, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The fact that the IT Department thought these persons had unaccounted money is very heartening, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: It proves that the two segments in Kannada are thriving and the industry is seeing some money at last, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
The Name Confusion!
Son: An Inspector in the ‘Crime Branch’ has been arrested by the Mumbai Police for extraction, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: He had demanded Rs1.4 lakh from a vendor in Goregaon, Mumbai, dad.
Father: Go on, Son.
Son: It seems the Inspector had only misinterpreted’ the name of the department dad.
Father: Go on, Son.
Son: He thought the department was meant for committing crime instead of preventing/controlling crime, dad!
Father: Go on, Son.
Son: The Maharashtra Government is now said to be seriously thinking of changing the name of the department, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
The Shavige Bhath and an Idea!
Son: A news report says that a gang of burglars ran away with Rs7.6 lakh worth of gold jewellary from a house in a Bangalore suburb, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Before departing, the gang feasted on the Shavige bhath, the hapless housewife had stored in the fridge, dad! They even heated the stuff in a microwave oven the family had at their home before eating, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The episode seems to have given some ‘ideas’ to the FMCG companies, dad! They have told their advertisement teams to launch a TV commercial based on the episode to market their fridge and microwave ovens, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
A V Krishnamurthy
11th July 2011

 

Sunday, July 3, 2011

I Don’t Know, Son!-12

I Don’t Know, Son!-12
The PM Candidate!
Son: A report in Deccan Herald says that the Karnataka MLA Shivanna from Tumkur district had to face the wrath of a person who wanted to be the Prime Minister of India, dad!
Father: How come? Go on, son.
Son: The PM candidate threw a brick at the hapless Shivanna who failed to make him the PM, dad!
Father: Interesting! Go on, son.
Son: It seems Shivanna tried to convince him that he was not fit for the job of the troubled Manmohan Singh, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: But the person thought that he was perfectly fit to occupy the chair, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: He was saying that he has been following the dictates of his beloved wife in all his day-to-day affairs and that made him immensely suited for the PM’s job, dad!
Father: How come? Go on, son.
Son: As per him, after all Manmohan’s job was to follow the dictates of a woman called Sonia Gandhi and he could fit into the job straightaway because of his past experience, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
The G-Series Auction Money!
Son: The PM candidate was telling the MLA that he saw only one attraction in the PM’s job, dad.
Father: Like what? Go on, son.
Son: He was sure that the Congress Party will ultimately ensure that the post of the Prime Minister was kept out of the purview of Lokpal Bill and that suited him well, dad.
Father: How? Go on, son.
Son: He thought Manmohan failed to make money in the 2G auction and instead allowed Raja to mint money by making out-of turn allotments, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: He wanted to similarly mint money in future auctions of 4G, 5G and in fact the entire G-series, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Being out of the purview of Lokpal Bill, he was confident he would remain untouched by all corruption allegations, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
The Politician’s Statement!
Son: During the last week the national financial newspapers carried a statement, which said, “banking for the poor is more viable than the rich”, dad.
Father: Obviously it must be from a politician. Go on, son.
Son: You are wrong, dad. It was made by K C Chakrabarty, the Deputy Governor of RBI, dad!
Father: Are you sure? Go on, son.
Son: Chakrabarty is known more for his statements than for implementing what he preaches, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: He never tried to implement the spirit of this statement when he was the CMD of Indian Bank and Punjab National Bank, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: He appears to have realised this only after he assumed the safer role of a regulator than the implementer, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
The Big Mouth!
Son: This Deputy Governor is known for his ‘big talk’ and this has landed him in trouble earlier also, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: He had issued a statement last year questioning the very policy of the RBI of which he is a part, dad!
Father: How come? Go on, Son.
Son: The Governor Subba Rao was then forced to gag his mouth and shift certain major departments under him to other Deputy Governors, dad. He was then entrusted with only certain inconsequential departments, dad.
Father: Go on, Son.
Son: Now that certain other Deputy Governors having retired from service, the Governor had no other alternative than giving him major departments, dad.
Father: I understand. Go on, Son.
Son: He is back in business now with his mouth wide-open, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
Founder’s Loss is (Original) Investor’s Gain!
Son: Ashok Soota has sold half of his 11.4% stake in MindTree to Siddhartha of the Café Coffee Group, dad. Siddhartha already holds a stake of 6.12% in the company as the original investor, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: A spokesperson of the company has stated that the original investor had indicated his abiding faith in the fundamentals and future of the company by acquiring the additional stake, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: What he has unsaid appears to be more important, dad.
Father: What is that? Go on, son.
Son: He avoided mentioning the fact that one of its founders has unfortunately lost faith in the future of the company and that is not worrying the company anymore, dad.
Father: Go on, son!
Son: Of course that founder is none other than Ashok Soota himself who has divested the stake in favour of Siddhartha, dad.
Father: I don’t know, son!
A V Krishnamurthy
3rd July 2011