I Don’t Know, Son! - 39

Govt’s Jeevan Anand Scheme for LIC!

Son: The Government of India has launched its Jeevan Anand Scheme for LIC, dad.

Father: How come? I think you are mistaken. The scheme has been launched by LIC for the public, son.

Son: No father. I am referring to the decision of the government to ask LIC to subscribe to the preferential issue of shares of public sector (PSU) banks including SBI, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The government does not have sufficient resources to subscribe to the issue. But the banks are in need of tier-1 capital and the government does not want to dilute its stake also, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: It has found a via media by asking LIC to subscribe, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: For LIC it is virtually an ‘Anand-hi-Anand’ scheme, dad. Investment in PSU banks is a safe bet in the current situation. Moreover LIC need not pay any brokerage and transaction tax on the investment unlike in the open market, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: That the shares will be allotted at a discount from the market rates is an additional Anand (bonus) to LIC. It is grabbing the opportunity with both hands, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

At last a Century from Tendulkar!

Son: Now that Sachin Tendulkar has completed his century, the cricket enthusiasts are expecting him to announce his retirement from one-day cricket, dad.

Father: How come? What century you are talking about, my son?

Son: You have not understood, dad. Let me elaborate.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: According to newspaper reports, Tendulkar had accumulated 90 runs from six one-day matches in the current triangular series, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: By scoring 14 runs in his 7^th match on Sunday, he has completed the century in seven matches, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The way the things are going at present, Sachin does not appear to be in a position to score a century in a single match, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

Mamata makes Karl Marx Proud!

Son: The West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee appears to have achieved in less than a year what the Communist Party of India (Marxist) could not achieve in its 34-year rule, dad!

Father: Go on, Son.

Son:  The basic aim of the Communist party as laid down by Marx is to eliminate capitalism (private sector investment), dad.

Father: True. Go on, Son.

Son: Mamata had made the Tatas say ‘Tata’ to West Bengal, when she forced them to abandon their prestigious Nano project at Singur in the state, dad.

Father: True. Go on, Son.

Son: Now the Marwari businessmen who are the backbone of the industry in the state for over 200 years, are shaky in view of the arrest of selective directors of the community in the AMRI Hospital fire tragedy incident, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The Marwari businessmen include the Birlas, Goenkas and Kanorias who own major business ventures in the state, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: There was an expectation that the software industry may get a boost with Infosys and Wipro agreeing to open their campuses in Kolkata, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: But now both Infosys and Wipro have refused to invest in the campuses unless the units are given SEZ status, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: But Mamata has flatly refused as her Trinamool Party manifesto has clearly stated that it is against granting SEZ status to new units, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

From Popularity to Unpopularity!

Son: Can you name two major topics which stole the limelight in the media in India in the last one year and suddenly lost all the hype, dad?

Father: No idea. Go on, son.

Son: The first topic is the performance of Indian cricket team, dad. The performance of the team went downhill after its famous win in the one-day World Cup final, dad.

Father: True. Go on, son.

Son: The second topic is the Anna Hazare’s anti-corruption movement, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The campaign lost its moorings after it’s unsuccessful and abandoned show in Mumbai, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

A V Krishnamurthy

27^th February 2012