Sunday, January 1, 2012

I Don’t Know, Son! -31

BBC’s Too Early Plans!
Son: We had earlier read that BBC was training its staff to correctly announce the death of Queen Elizabeth to avoid another embarrassing gaffe, dad.
Father: True. Go on, son.
Son: In view of the advanced age (85 years) of the queen the advance preparations of BBC were understandable, dad.
Father: True. Go on, son.
Son: But we now hear that BBC has started filming the obituary of the 58-year old former Prime Minister Tony Blair, dad!
Father: Oh my God! Go on, son.
Son: The Sun (newspaper) has called the act ghoulish and has reported that some of the former PM’s cabinet colleagues were asked to contribute to the programme, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: A labour party source has called the BBC action as poor in taste and has stated that Tony is still a relatively young man who sure has a lot of years left in him yet, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
Provisional Padma Awards (Subject to Audit)!
Son: The Comptroller and Auditor General (CAG) has reportedly suspended the controversial audit of Padma Awards, dad.
Father: True. Go on, son.
Son: The Ministry of Home Affairs is said to be relieved with the decision of the CAG, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Otherwise, the ministry was thinking of issuing the awards as ‘provisional’, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The awardees were expected to be addressed with Padma Shree (subject to audit), Padma Bhushan (subject to audit) and Padma Vibhushan (subject to audit) every time their names were announced or referred to, dad!
Father: Funny! Go on, son.
Son: This exercise was to be continued till the CAG found the awards perfectly in order, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
Auditors’ Signature Now Only a Formality!
Son: Prithvi Information Solutions of Hyderabad has created a record of sorts, dad. It has passed an unsigned audit report at the annual general meeting (AGM), dad!
Father: How come? Go on, son.
Son: The auditor V K Asthana had submitted a draft report (in a pen drive). But the firm later disowned the audit report by sending a mail, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: But the company says the report has been adopted at the AGM. According to it “the signature is just a formality and it does not think that the same is required”, dad!
Father: Wonderful. Go on, son.
Son: It will be interesting to see what the Institute of Chartered Accountants of India has to say in the matter, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
Did They Really Say That?
Son: The Business Standard daily of Kolkata often publishes some statements attributed to some important personalities under the above headline, dad.
Father: True. Go on, son.
Son: The last Sunday they had published a statement – “Let us not be afraid of anybody, least of all, an ex-policeman, least of all an ex-bureaucrat, least of all somebody who pretends to be another father of nation” – under the above headline, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The reference in the statement was obviously to Kiran Bedi, Arvind Kejriwal and Anna Hazare, dad.
Father: True. Go on, son.
Son: The newspaper had attributed the statement to Gurudas Das Gupta MP, and had also published a photograph under the title, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The newspaper editor had a shock of life when he received a denial of the statement from Gurudas Kamat MP, dad!
Father: How come? Go on, son.
Son: The Mumbai MP had said – No! I did not really say that!
Father: How come? Go on, son.
Son: The newspaper had committed a blunder of sorts by publishing the photograph of the Mumbai MP, in place of the photograph of Gurudas Das Gupta MP to whom the statement had been attributed to, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
A V Krishnamurthy
1st January 2012


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