Indian among the World’s Dumbest Criminals!
Son: Naim Shaikh, a mechanic from Pune, has earned the dubious distinction of being one of the ‘World’s Dumbest Criminals’, as featured in the Reader’s Digest magazine, dad. In fact his was the only name from India that figured in the list, dad.
Father: Interesting. Go on, son.
Son: Desperate to pay his rent, Naim had stolen a brand new Bajaj Platina bike parked in a lane in Pune, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: He was encouraged by the fact that the new bike did not even have a registration number that would help tracking it, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The owner of the bike Jeevan Shedge registered a police complaint immediately after he noticed the theft, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Doubting the possibility of tracing of his vehicle, Jeevan started looking for a second-hand bike, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Somebody told Naim that a person called Jeevan was looking for a second-hand Bajaj Platina, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The victim (Jeevan) and the thief (Naim) met each other at a place in Pune when Naim showed the bike to Jeevan, who recognised his bike within no time, dad!
Father: Wonderful. Go on, son.
Son: He started shouting for help, when Naim got into the bike and fled from the scene, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The Pune police did a marvelous job in catching the ‘dumb thief ‘in a matter of few minutes, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
Gavaskar’s $1-Million Dream!
Son: All those who log into the Internet are familiar with repeated mails in their inboxes which convey that they have won a $1-million (or even more) lottery, dad!
Father: True. Go on, son.
Son: It is very normal to delete such mails as spam and forget it for good, dad.
Father: True. Go on, Son.
Son: Something similar happened to our legendary cricketer Sunil Gavaskar, dad. But instead of forgetting the same, he took it seriously, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: It seems the former BCCI President and the Maratha strongman, Sharad Pawar, had jocularly told Gavaskar sometime that his role in IPL deserved a million dollar, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: But Gavaskar took it seriously and believed that he would get an annual fee of $1 million from BCCI for his role in IPL, dad! Incidentally, both Gavaskar and Ravi Sastri are being paid an annual fee of Rs1 crore by BCCI for doing some service, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Gavaskar waited patiently. However, he took up the matter only after Pawar moved out of BCCI President’s post to take charge as ICC President, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The BCCI has flatly refused the payment and has confirmed that the Maratha strongman has denied any such promise, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Pawar is known as a thorough gentleman who always keeps his commitments, dad. But he never thought that Gavaskar would take his joke so seriously, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
Sidhu’s Road Show in Andhra Pradesh!
Son: The former cricket star and BJP MP Navjot Singh Sidhu appears to have moved from ‘Comedy Show’ to ‘Road Show’, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Sidhu is known for the controversies right from his cricketing days. A certain Azharuddin would vouch for this, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: Sidhu had left the England tour midway in 1996 in a huff, dad. The then captain of the Indian team Azharuddin till today does not know what made him pack off without informing anybody, dad.
Father: True. Go on, son.
Son: He joined a well known global sports channel as commentator after retirement from cricket. But he used to focus more on his one-liners (Sidhuism) than the actual game. He was sacked by the channel for swearing on air, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: He then moved to a major Hindi entertainment channel as a judge in a programme called “The Great Indian Laughter Challenge”, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The problem here was different, dad. Sidhu would start laughing even before the punch line was delivered by the participants, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: So much so that the participants would forget the punch line they had planned to deliver in the end, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: The recent Road Show in Andhra Pradesh (kidnapping of a guard in a toll gate) has only added another controversy to Sidhu’s cap, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
Gujarat Ambuja’s ‘Unbreakable’ Cement (TV Commercial)!
Son: Gujarat Ambuja Cement had launched a TV commercial (TVC) – “Tootthe Nahin Yaar! (unbreakable, my friend!)” – to highlight the unbreakable quality of its cement, dad.
Father: True. Go on, son.
Son: The well known Hindi film actor Boman Irani played a dual role (twin brothers) in the TVC, dad.
Father: Go on, son.
Son: In the TVC, the brothers try to break a wall that separated the two houses. But they find it unbreakable as it was built using Ambuja cement, dad!
Father: True. Go on, son.
Son: While the unbreakable quality of the cement of the company will be confirmed only by the builders, the unbreakable nature of the said TV commercial is not in doubt, dad!
Father: How come? Go on, son.
Son: The Company has been broadcasting the same TVC repeatedly for the last so many years, dad!
Father: Go on, son.
Son: So much so that the TV viewers will unanimously vote for its (TVC’s) ‘unbroken’ quality, dad!
Father: I don’t know, son!
A V Krishnamurthy
16th December 2011
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