I Don’t Know, Son!-23

Not a Giggling Matter!

Son: The Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi is often in the news for all the wrong reasons (read sex scandals), dad.

Father: True, go on son.

Son: But just when he wanted to be in the news for a right reason, his efforts have been spoiled by the Premiers of France and Germany, dad.

Father: How come? Go on, son.

Son: At a press conference in Brussels, Germany’s Angela Merkel and France’s Nicolas Sarkozy exchanged giggles when asked to comment on Berlusconi’s promise to fix his country’s economic problems, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: Italians have not taken this kindly, dad. Berlusconi also wants an apology.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: But Merkel is said to have refused. However, Berlusconi is reported to be happy that Italians are behind him at least on this occasion, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

Not Even 18 Paisa!

Son: Former Prime Minister HD Deve Gowda has alleged that Yeddyurappa (Yeddy) is remote controlling the government sitting inside the jail, dad.

Father: True. Go on, son.

Son: He has also alleged that even though the cabinet had sanctioned Rs18 crore for Hassan (his home district), not even 18 paisa has been released so far, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The former PM has threatened that his son H D Revanna would hold a fast in front of Chief Minister D V Sadananda Gowda’s (DVS) residence to press for the release of funds, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: But DVS is reported to have advised him to conduct the fast at the Parappana Agrahara jail in front of the Cell occupied by Yeddy, dad!

Father: Interesting. Go on, son.

Son: He feels that it will be appropriate to do so as Yeddy is supposed to be the remote controller of the government as alleged by the former PM, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

U R Ananthamurthy’s Express Break Fast Service!

Son: In case Revanna goes on fast, as threatened by the former PM, one famous Kannada writer is said to be getting ready to help him break the fast, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: U R Ananthamurthy, the well known Kannada writer, had earlier helped HD Kumaraswamy (former Karnataka CM and son of Deve Gowda) to break his fast by offering fruit juice on the first day of the fast itself, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: Even though Ananthamurthy is doing this service voluntarily, it is no secret that he has a hidden agenda, dad.

Father: Like what? Go on, son.

Son: Ananthamurthy wants to be an MP and is eyeing the JD(S) ticket for the Bangalore city in the next Parliament elections, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

Krishnaiah and his Kajjaya!

Son: It has now become almost customary for the politicians and cinema stars to feign sickness the moment they are arrested/jailed in connection with some criminal case, dad.

Father: True. Go on, son.

Son:  But here is one politician and a former Karnataka minister, who has brought illness to the inmates of the jail where he was jailed, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: S N Krishnaiah Setty, the former minister, had distributed Kajjaya (a Karnataka sweet) to the inmates of the Parappana Agrahara jail during the Deepavali festival. Later 251 prisoners had to be taken to the hospital following food-poisoning, dad.

Father: Go on, Son.

Son: Surprisingly none of the VIP prisoners including Yeddy were affected even though they also ate the same Kajjaya, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: It seems the VIP class is made of sterner stuff and is capable of digesting any sort of ‘Kajjayas’ including the illegally acquired wealth, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

When the Success Becomes Boring!

Son: Have you heard of success becoming boring at a particular stage, dad?

Father: Never. Go on, son.

Son: But that is exactly what has happened to Bajaj Auto as per its managing director Rajiv Bajaj, dad.

Father: Wonderful. Go on, son.

Son: He was releasing the second quarter results of the company which were excellent as they have been for the last so many quarters, dad.

Father: True. Go on, son.

Son: Rajiv has stated that the company has become a boringly predictable company as the performance is so repetitive, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

Bangalore Mirror does it Again!

Son: It seems the tabloid Bangalore Mirror is bent upon ensuring that the post of Lokayukta is not filled up in Karnataka, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The new Chief Minister D V Sadananda Gowda has recommended the name of justice Bannurmath for the post, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: Bangalore Mirror has reported that Bannurmath has built his house on a judicial house building cooperative society site in an area earmarked for a park. It is also revealed that he was not eligible for the allotment as he was not an employee of the judicial department in Karnataka, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: At this rate Karnataka may never have another Lokayukta in place as it is revealed that more than 75 judges have secured allotment of sites in the society under similar circumstances, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

A V Krishnamurthy

30^th October 2011

I Don’t Know, Son!-22

The Innovative Gold Loan Marketing!

Son: A report in Times of India says that a sales manager with Manappuram Gold Loan’s Basaveshwaranagar branch and his associate were caught while trying to snatch a gold chain from a woman, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: When asked by the police what made them resort to such anti-social activity, the pair told them that it was their innovative way of canvassing the gold loans, dad!

Father: Interesting. Go on, son.

Son: They told the police they were only trying to create a scare among the women in the locality so that they would deposit their jewels with the finance company in the guise of raising a loan, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

After Modi it is now Moody’s for the UPA Government!

Son: The Gujarat Chief Minister Narendra Modi has been a pain in the neck of the UPA Government, dad.

Father: True. Go on, son.

Son: The verbal fight between the two has been going on since long, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: Now the government is on a verbal war with the Moody’s, the global rating agency, dad.

Father: Interesting. Go on, son.

Son: The government is unhappy with Moody’s, the global rating agency, which has downgraded the country’s premier bank State Bank of India, dad.

Father: True. Go on, son.

Son: The department of financial services has hit back at the rating agency for lowering the SBI’s rating when many weaker lenders globally enjoyed a higher rating, dad.

Father: I don’t know, son!

Diamonds are Forever!

Son: The Tamil Nadu Chief Minister J Jayalalithaa appeared at a special court in Bangalore in connection with the Rs66-crore illegal wealth case, dad.

Father: True. Go on, son.

Son: Jayalalithaa has been accused of having amassed a startling collection of silk sarees, jewellery, footwear and diamonds worth Rs66 crore, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: During the hearing, Jayalalithaa denied owning the sarees, jewellery and footwear, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: However, she admitted that the diamond collection belonged to her stating that the same had been overvalued.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The adage – “Diamonds are forever”, appears to hold good in Jayalalithaa’s case also, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

The RBI Governor and His Only Tool!

Son: The Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee is confident that the government and RBI together will be able to tackle the soaring inflation, dad.

Father: True. Go on, son.

Son:  The RBI Governor Subba Rao is expected to fully support the government by using his ‘only tool’ as he has been doing hitherto, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The Governor is expected to hike the interest rate again, the 13th hike since March 2010, dad.

Father: Go on, Son.

Son: While the inflation continues unabated regardless of the RBI action, the bank loan rates have shot up resulting in huge interest burden on the industry, dad. The bankers are worried that the NPAs may also shoot up, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: But Subba Rao appears to be unperturbed and continues to wield his only tool with disastrous effect, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

Kingfisher’s ‘Minor Issue’!

Son: Six Kingfisher airline flights were cancelled from Delhi on 13^th October 2011 as HPCL stopped fuel supply to the airline. The airline is said to owe Rs100 crore to HPCL, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The supply was restored after Kingfisher made the necessary payments. A Kingfisher spokesperson said there was a ‘minor issue” with the supplier, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: While it was a ‘minor issue’ to Kingfisher which carries a debt burden of over Rs6,000 crore, HPCL did not think it so, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The public sector company treated it as a major issue and yielded only after it extracted the full payment from the airline, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

A V Krishnamurthy

22^nd October 2011

I Don’t Know, Son!-21

The 2G Conundrum – The Loss Estimation Puzzle!

Son: A Congress MP has demanded the summoning of the Comptroller and Auditor General (CAG) before the PAC to explain how he had pegged the loss at Rs1.76 lakh crore in the 2G scam, dad.

Father: True.  Go on son.

Son: The MP wants to know how the CAG jacked up the loss from Rs2,645 crore originally arrived at by the director general of audit R P Singh. who conducted the actual audit, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The CBI had originally pegged the loss at Rs22,000 crore in its FIR against A Raja. However, it revised the amount to Rs30,984.55 crore while filing its charge sheet, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The Central Vigilance Commission has put the loss at Rs26,000 crore in its investigation, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The Telecom Regulatory Authority of India (TRAI) has stated that it is not possible to quantify the loss with certainty, dad.

Son: The redoubtable Kapil Sibal, the Minister of Communications and Technology, had arrived the loss at ZERO using his advocate brain, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: It may be noted that the loss is only notional and is being arrived at by different persons with different assumptions, the amount varying from Zero to Rs1.76 lakh crore, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: Ultimately it appears that the focus should be on how much money A Raja & Co made through random allocations of 2G spectrum instead of wasting time and energy in arriving at this notional figure, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

The IITs Go Full Circle!

Son: Narayana Murthy, the legendary founder of Infosys, has stated that the quality of students entering the IITs has deteriorated over the years. He has attributed the poor standard to the coaching classes, which prepare them for the entrance test, dad.

Father: True. Go on, son.

Son: Earlier Jairam Ramesh, the then Environment Minister, had claimed that the faculty at the IITs was not world-class, dad!

Father: True. Go on, son.

Son: It appears both Jai Ram Ramesh and Narayana Murthy have complemented each other by making a total assessment of the IITs by covering faculty and students separately, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

IIT Student – Not Interested in Engineering (Guess Who?)!

Son: Narayana Murthy’s remark on deterioration in the quality of students entering IITs has found support from IIT heads, dad.

Father: True. Go on, son.

Son: IIT Madras Director Bhaskar Ramamurthy has stated that there is a need to select well-rounded students by taking school scores also into consideration, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: IIT-Guwahati Director Gautam Baru has said that most of the students preparing for the examination are not even interested in pursuing engineering, dad. He says they want to sell soaps, not become engineers, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: Meanwhile one old IIT student, who did his mechanical engineering from Delhi IIT, appears to have taken the remark of Narayana Murthy too seriously, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: He went to the extent of saying that Narayana Murthy was running a body shopping company and calls it high-tech, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: Incidentally this man fits into the category of the present day students referred to by the director of IIT-Guwahati, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: He was least interested in pursuing engineering and branched off to investment banking initially - only to end up as a storywriter and a columnist, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

Another Real Estate Casualty!

Son: Yeddy, the ex-Chief Minister of Karnataka, had to tender his resignation in the face of several allegations about land/site allotment scams, dad.

Father: True. Go on, son.

Son:  It is no wonder that even the persons appointed by him to the top posts are also equally involved in such land scams, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: Shivraj Patil, the Lokayukta appointed by Yeddy, had to tender his resignation following a controversy over allotment of housing society sites for him and his wife against rules, dad.

Father: True. Go on, Son.

Son: Now it is the turn of the Upa Lokayukta Justice R Gururajan to resign, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: Even though he has attributed ‘personal reasons’ for quitting the post, it is said that he had bought a plot in Judicial Employees Housing Society despite owning two houses in Bangalore, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: It appears most of the appointees of the Yeddy Government are involved in one or the other land/site scams, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

A V Krishnamurthy

13^th October 2011

I Don’t Know, Son!-20

No Idea!

Son: Tata Group and Aditya Birla Group have reached an out-of-court settlement to resolve a 5-year old dispute over mobile operator Idea Cellular, dad.

Father: Go on son.

Son: Tata has withdrawn its plea for arbitration. However, details of settlement are not available, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: When asked by a journalist, a spokesperson of Idea Cellular said he had “no idea”, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

Kingfisher Pleases the “King”!

Son: The troubled Kingfisher Airlines has heavily defaulted in its payments to Airports Authority of India and oil companies including Indian Oil and HPCL. The debt burden of the company has shot up to over Rs6,100 crore, dad.

Father: You are right. Go on, son.

Son: The company had earlier defaulted in its payments to banks and the consortium of banks had to take a major hit on their balance sheets through conversion of a portion of the loans into equity at a price much higher than the market price, dad.

Father: True. Go on, son.

Son: The market price of the shares has since come down steeply resulting in further losses to the banks. However, the airlines has been prompt in making one particular payment despite incurring huge losses, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The airline has paid Rs50.87 crore to its Chairman and promoter Vijay Mallya for a personal guarantee executed by him to cover over Rs6,100 crore borrowed by the company, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: While the shareholders and the creditors are watching the dismal financial performance of the company with distress, at least one person appears to be laughing all the way to the bank, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

The Absconding Inspector!

Son: We have heard of criminals and dacoits running away from the Police Stations while in custody, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: But the Amruthahalli (Bangalore) Police Inspector Rathnakar Shetty has created a dubious record of his own, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: He has fled from the Police Station along with a constable called Sohail, dad!

Father: How come? Go on, son.

Son: Rathnakar Shetty had demanded a bribe of Rs5 lakh from Noor Ahmed, a merchant from Shivajinagar, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: Ahmed complained to Lokayukta who planned a raid to trap the men in uniform, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: However, on a tip-off, the duo fled from the station before the Lokayukta sleuths arrived at the station, dad!

Father: Go on, son.

Son: The Amruthahalli police are now on an unenviable mission of locating the whereabouts of their own boss to hand him over to the Lokayukta police, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

Shahrukh Khan (SRK) Wants to be Humble (‘sometime’)!

Son: Shahrukh Khan (SRK) is flying to Chennai to be with his IPL team and also to meet Superstar Rajnikanth, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son:  SRK says he wants to be as humble as Rajni ‘someday’, dad.

Father: Go on, son.

Son: SRK has been known as a big mouth and always goes through the roof whenever he starts praising somebody, dad. He also expects them to be as ‘liberal’ as him while reciprocating, dad!

Father: Go on, Son.

Son: When asked why he wants to be humble only ‘someday’ instead of right now, SRK said that right now he is at the peak of his (business) career and being humble may not suit him at this stage, dad!

Father: I don’t know, son!

A V Krishnamurthy

9^th October 2011